becoming a man

Graeme, my almost 10 year old, and I are going camping this weekend.  Just the two of us.  This is the first in a series of trips I want to take with him.  Instead of a single event/right of passage, I’ve decided to do several.  I don’t think that theirs a right an wrong to this process.  Most of my friends that have done anything like this have chosen to do a single event.  They have tried to recreate the pre-modern passage into adulthood.  An art and cultural marker we have lost.

Because we have lost these markers into adulthood I’ve  decided to create my own.  I want my sons to be prepared to operate in the world on their own.  They will be able to survive on there own.  I will not be a co-dependent parent that sits outside the office while my 24 year old son interviews for a job in the next room.  Maybe a lunch meet-up, or phone debrief, but not coddling parent of an pseudo-adult.

I haven’t worked out all that will be said or done on these trips with my sons.  I have decided that part of this process I will bestow things on them.  It started at 8 with a pocket knife.  I train them how to use it and handle it carefully.  How to not hurt themselves or others when they do use it.  I keep it, but they can ask for it when they want it.  I’ll be giving Graeme his second knife this weekend.  Its a bigger knife and should last him a while.  I think when he’s 16 or 18 he’ll get a multi-tool.  Again I have not decided what goes into it.  I’m leaving plenty of space for intuition to see the needs of each son as the grow older.  I’m open to suggestions as well.

So this weekend, while we’re near the foot of Mt. Baker, please think and pray for us often.


Thanks for stopping by.  Be uncommon.


2 thoughts on “becoming a man

  1. I hope you and Graeme have a great week end. Something we were unable to do. I am glad YOU haven’t missed the opportunity.

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